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The First Book I Truly Loved ♥

Anyone who really knows me knows of my many different loves in life, i.e: story-telling, modeling, the environment, photographs, animals, family, friends, dance, hiking, traveling, fashion and of course film (amongst others)! Some of my passions have been inspired when I was a small child. Others as I grew older and more self-aware. The rest I was flat out born with I swear!

One of those big inspirations in my life has actually been Harry Potter. I was a child who really struggled to learn how to read and I honestly loathed it. Learning didn’t come easy to me so reading was nothing different. It took a while but my doctor finally found a way of helping my focus and lo and behold I was able to read without distraction. The first book I read that I truly enjoyed reading was the first Harry Potter book and I was hooked. I have many other favourite books (To Kill A Mockingbird, Peter Pan, The Giver) but Harry Potter just has that nostalgic feeling for me that it is undoubtedly at the top of my number one favourites.

When I found out they were making the books into movies I was thrilled and to be honest a little sad because I wanted to be Hermione. I ultimately love the entire cast they chose for each role. Each actor is as I had pictured their character. In my mind they could not have done better. (Also happy that they did not “Americanize” it and have Hollywood actors playing the roles.) The only thing I miss from the books being in the movies is the characters of Peeves the Poltergeist because he was wonderfully irritating! Everything else, in my humble opinion, was as good as it gets.

The real reason I’m writing this though is because the final film is coming out. I remember the excitement and slight sadness when the final book came out. This time though there won’t be anymore books or movies to look forward to. All great things must come to an end and yes it is bittersweet. I’m so excited for the last movie though. It’s my favourite book in the series and the first part of the movie was amazing but I’m really looking forward to seeing the second part and everything being tied up in the end.

The big joke is that when I go to London, England in September I’ll be bringing home Ron Weasley as my souvenir (I’m actually not joking because I’d love to! hehe :P).

Some of my favourite quotes:

{“I should have made my meaning plainer,” said Professor McGonagall, turning at last to look at Umbridge directly in the eyes. “He has achieved high marks in all Defense Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher.” – McGonagall}

{“You have a habit of turning up in unexpected places, Potter, and you are very rarely there for no good reason.” – Snape}

{“Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn’t much left ter do.” – Hagrid}

{“I’ll distract them all,” Luna said. “Use your Cloak.” And before he [Harry] could say a word, she had cried, “Oooh, look, a Blibbering Humdinger!” and pointed out the window. – Luna Lovegood}

{“Hey, look – Harry’s got a Weasley sweater, too!” Fred and George were wearing blue sweaters, one with a large yellow ‘F’ on it, the other a ‘G.’
“Harry’s is better than ours, though,” said Fred, holding up Harry’s sweater. “She obviously makes more of an effort if you’re not family.”
“Why aren’t you wearing yours, Ron?” George demanded. “Come on, get it on, they’re lovely and warm.”
“I hate maroon,” Ron moaned half-heartedly as he pulled it over his head.
“You haven’t got a letter on yours,” George observed. “I suppose she thinks you don’t forget your name. But we’re not stupid – we know we’re called Gred and Forge.” – Fred and George}

{“But you’re Muggles! We must have a drink! What’s that you’ve got there? Oh, you’re changing Muggle money. Molly, look!”– Arthur Weasley}

{“Wandering around at midnight, ickle Firsties? Tut, tut, tut. Naughty, naughty, you’ll get caughty.” – Peeves the Poltergeist}

{“NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!”- Mrs. Weasley }

{“The thing about growing up with Fred and George,” said Ginny thoughtfully, “is that you sort of start thinking anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.” – Ginny Weasley}

{“Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my ‘furry little problem’ in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit.” – Remus Lupin}

{“Oh, Potter, you rotter, oh, what have you done, You’re killing off students, you think it’s good fun.” – Peeves}

{“Thing was they bit off a bit more than theycould chew with Gran. Little old witch living alone, they probably thought they didn’t need to send anyone particularly powerful. Anyway,” Neville laughed, “Dawlish is still in St. Mungo’s and Gran’s on the run.” – Neville Longbottom}

{“If you die down there, you’re welcome to share my toilet.” – Moaning Myrtle}

{“Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies. You must know this, Dumbledore.” – Lord Voldemort}

{“You said to us once before,” said Hermione quietly, “that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. We’ve had time, haven’t we?” – Hermione}

{“Listen, if you [Fred and George] don’t take it [the gold], I’m throwing it down the drain. I don’t want it and I don’t need it. But I could do with a few laughs. We could all do with a few laughs. I’ve got a feeling we’re going to need them more than usual before long.” – Harry Potter}

{“Azkaban – the wizard’s prison, Goyle. Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backwards.” – Draco}

{“Kreacher is cleaning,” the elf repeated. “Kreacher lives to serve the noble house of Black–”
“–and it’s getting blacker every day, it’s filthy,” said Sirius. – Sirius and Kreacher}

{“Accio Brain!” – Ron”}

{“And now Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.” – Dumbledore}

{“Fred and George tried to get me to make one [Unbreakable Vow] when I was about five. I nearly did, too, I was holding hands with Fred and everything when Dad founds us. He went mental,” sid Ron, with a reminiscent gleam in his eyes. “Only time I’ve ever seen Dad as angry as Mum. Fred reckons his left buttock has never been the same since.” – Ron}

{“It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.” – Dumbledore}

By the way … it is a big disappointment that I didn’t go to a school such as Hogwarts.

Much Love,



♥ Dear 16 year old me …

I have to give a big kudos to Becca Grieb who actually inspired me to write this after she wrote her own. Hers was inspired by a powerful video regarding skin cancer called “Dear 16 year old me” produced by the David Cornfield Melanoma Fund which speaks about how important it is to take care of your skin and to wear sunscreen and avoid tanning beds.  After reading Becca’s version of “Dear 16 year old me” I was inspired to write my own and began actually writing it in my journal. Here it is:

Dear 16 year old me …

Alice and I

chin up … learning with a grade younger than what you are does not mean you are stupid … you were so sick last year … give yourself a break and stop being so hard on yourself

Build yourself up … not down

listen to your mom, friends and anyone else who’s told you to get into modeling … you will LOVE it with your whole heart

these friends that you have now – realize that you will always love them but they are not going to be your “friends forever” – yes, you will be sad but you will meet new amazing individuals and be happy

you are beautiful … and someday someone will make you feel it

grade 11

contrary to what you may believe … you are not invisible

Dear 16 year old me …

go out and have fun … forget about your caution …  life is an adventure, enjoy it!

Hey! That girl that you’re jealous of and compare yourself to all the time – yeah, well she is and always will be your BEST FRIEND. One day you two will be closer than you could ever imagine. Ups and downs will occur (such is the case for all relationships) but it will only strengthen your friendship. Nikki is your “friends forever”

you will have to endure a couple losses before the age of 24 (family and friend) and it is going to hurt like hell … but I promise you that it will hurt less one day

your dreams won’t change as much as they will grow

you will finally feel comfortable in your own skin 

Dear 16 year old me …

friends forever, grade 11

you will finally meet your “people” and have some truly amazing friends in your life

stop putting yourself against momma – she is the closest person in your life and just because she loves you unconditionally does not mean you can lash out at her … very uncool

you will travel … A LOT … and will really fall in love with whole world

you will overcome your health issues … I promise you … so don’t live in fear anymore

I know you believe that you’re never going to have a great relationship with your dad but you will because he will get his shit together and you will be so happy and proud. So don’t feel hopeless and let go of all that hurt that you carry around. It gets better

Dear 16 year old me …

you aren’t weird … you are one of a kind, original, unique … you are the only you that there is … so embrace your quirkiness. Embrace who you are

silly me, grade 11

in about a year from now 16 year old me, you will have to move out of your childhood home. I know it’s difficult but you will be happy in your new home and make new memories and new friends there … the one’s who matter will make it into the final cut. Remember your times on Dumfries, cherish them, but fear not. The new place will be a different sort of home in a very good way

I know it’s hard but try to enjoy school … believe it or not one day you will sort of miss it

your so called “eclectic” taste in music … it isn’t as eclectic as it’s going to be 

Don’t feel foolish for sticking to your morals

Dear 16 year old me …

you will meet a wise, wonderful and inspiring woman named Pat and she will adopt momma and you as her own family and you will end up calling her “Grammy-Pat” and love her very much. Before she dies she will tell you amazing advice: “stop falling and be happy”. Remember it

at school with Alina, grade 11


you will have that relationship that you’re afraid of having … don’t fear it … you will come out stronger because of it

actively pursue the things you wish to do with your life. They will not come to you just because you “deserve it” – you have to work for what you want. So work for it!

Speak up! Stop putting people on pedestals. Say what you feel. You’ll be surprised at how easy it is and how much better you feel afterward. Your relationships will improve greatly. 

respect the advice that momma and any other wise women give you so freely … some of their advice will help you out in the end … don’t toss it away so easily

it is not your job to fix people 

fits of laughter, grade 11

Dear 16 year old me…

laugh daily, love often and don’t be afraid of making mistakes 

stop focusing on the future only and live for the “now” … remember the quote from Kung Fu Panda: “The past is history, the future a mystery, but the present is a gift … that is why they call it a present” … in addition to that stop procrastinating and leaving everything for tomorrow

forgiveness isn’t a form of weakness … it is a strength

be thankful for the positive influences in your life … they’re the ones you look up to when you feel the lowest and in the end they’re the ones who always help you back onto your feet

you come from a fairly messed up family kid and it will get pretty lonely throughout the years for you and mom… you will regain a relationship with your dad and his family and that will help but remember that friends are also family you choose (as are your many kitties)… 

my momma and daddy and me

Dear 16 year old me …

your passion for animals and the environment will grow

take care of yourself, stay active … you go through cycles of being low … it would just be a lot easier if you just stopped the cycle at 16 rather than waiting to be in your twenties

everybody needs a therapist … don’t be ashamed that you need one too

you’ve been told you can’t sing or draw … you’re going to prove those people wrong years from now because you actually can do both very well

I don’t really know what happened to your confidence but it will take a while to build it back fully … just keep working at it and don’t ever allow anyone to take it away

{you’re going to kick yourself in the ass for this one} … it’s never a good idea to leave things like hundreds of your vinyls at a boyfriends’ place and then breaking up with him … I can almost guarantee that you’ll never see them again 

the magic of story telling will always enchant you no matter the age you’re at … go back to school for writing, read more and practice it

dye your hair black … don’t listen to everyone who tells you not to … it is the hair colour for you … so just do it!

carla and michelle being some of those amazing "people" of yours

Dear 16 year old me …

two words that several people will tell you time and time again: “know thyself”

you’re a late bloomer and in no way is that a bad thing … you’ll have a lot more self discovery in your twenties than when you’re a teenager

have a bit more faith in human kind … some will amaze and inspire you

there will come a time in your life where you’ll be bitter about a certain relationship … don’t let it take over and ruin the romantic side of who you are and always have been 

keep pushing forward and don’t ever give up

don’t be so self conscious about your fair skin … it’s beautiful … no more tanning or using orange make up to make it look tan okay? 

make your dreams a reality, live life to the fullest, tell a story or two or more, knowledge is power, family and pets and friends are everything, travel often, love with your whole heart, be inspired, create, laugh daily, dance like nobody is watching, sing like no one can hear, seek adventure, be strong, take pictures of everything, know thyself, stop falling and be happy, forgive, make mistakes, make a difference, be you, reach for the stars. 

love life


♥ 23 year old you

Shine On ♥

I believe that it’s a good idea to reflect after one’s passing. It helps, or at least I think it does. I can recall nearly every single goodbye I have had to say. Some goodbyes were my choice. In my humble opinion the word “goodbye” sucks. It is perhaps one of the most difficult words in the English language to say.

The real reason I’m writing this though is to reflect on one person who only recently died (she strongly disliked the term “passed away” or so I’ve been warned lol) and she was my Grammy-Pat. I was blessed with the opportunity to say goodbye and anything else I needed to say to her before it happened and I am truly grateful for that (the one thing she was sad about was not getting to see the end of the Harry Potter movies). I was even more blessed to have incredible last words of wisdom passed on to me from her. Advice to keep me going, to inspire me, to motivate me, to move me, etc. Aside from promises of success in my dreams and to have her as my motivation (along with quitting biting my nails haha) and reading some of her favourite books, she told me “to stop falling and to find my happiness”. Anyone who really knows me will know how much that statement means to me. It is the most perfect advice given to me at this point in my life. I needed it.

Saturday was a difficult day. Lots of tears but also laughter. I spoke briefly of one of her favourite songs “the muggy song” and did a reading. It was an honour, her asking me to do that for her.

She was one of the most incredible women I have known and I am so blessed to have had her in my life. I will always cherish our Friday night movies, the “muggy song” (+ Alice hehe), talking about Japan, margaritas, dinners and Harry Potter. I love you and will always remember you, thank you Grammy-Pat.

Much Love,


Me and Grammy-Pat on "Debbie Day"

The world deserves to know you. You deserve it too. Don’t settle for comfortable ♥

So for the passed couple of weeks I have been off and basically away from the computer and internet. I fell and gave myself a moderate concussion (actually lucky I didn’t break my neck with the way I fell on my head and neck – I count my blessings). The doctor told me to stay away from the computer and anything that could cause a worse headache … won’t argue with that, head has been feeling like it wants to explode so fair enough!

Before my fall I had modeled for an incredible photo-shoot with, the amazing, Ema Suvajac {photographer}, the talented, Meaghan Coneybeare {make-up and hair} and, the gorgeous, Samantha C {model} in Guelph. Our theme was really based after the Olsen twins (always an inspiration with their taste in fashion). Samantha and I brought huge suitcases full of clothes, accessories and shoes to choose from to piece together some fantastic outfits.

The results were fantastic! I am soooo happy with them! All three of these women are amazing, creative and inspiring! I had such a fabulous time and can not wait to work with each of them again.

lol literally soo much to choose from, how it all fit into our suitcases I will never know! {photograph taken by Ema Suvajac}

the amazing crew {left to right}: myself, Samantha C, Meaghan Coneybeare & Ema Suvajac

Hey, Soul Sister!

Hey, Soul Sister

Hey, Soul Sister!


Hey, Soul Sister!

Hey, Soul Sister!

Hey, Soul Sister

A few days after the shoot my accident occurred and since then to preoccupy my time Sylvia got me into the series “The O.C.” and all I can say is, oh my damn, why did it take so long for me to watch it? I love it! Definitely ranking high in my favourite television shows. I think the premise is fantastic, the characters are believable and it has the ability to inspire me. My favourite character is Ryan. (I always vote for the underdog). The music in the show is also mind blowing. I’ve already found a whack of songs and uploaded them to my computer. Inspire me, please!

The O.C = amazing

Anyways, I finished the series last night and I thought it was a great ending (too soon and made me sad) but still a very good ending! The title of this blog is actually a quote that one of the characters said and it really stayed with me, warmed my heart and inspired me.

Californiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa here we come!!!!

Much love,









An ode to old home videos ♥

I have always been teased for being a “camera whore”. My parents always snapped my photo as a child and growing up. They wanted me to remember my life in photographs because they were not as fortunate to have so many photos. I’m happy that they did. In part it has made me the person that I am today. Model. Girl who has black and white photographic memories posted all over her room. Around 60 facebook albums. Slideshows. Simply put, I love photos.  I love memories. I also love home videos.

Some of my most cherished possessions truly are my photos and my home videos. They are key reminders of the life I’ve lived thus far,  the people I’ve known and loved, and the various stages of awkward growth I’ve gone through in it all. Watching some of the clips sometimes makes me embarrassed at how ridiculous of a teenager I was (alas, we all were ridiculous in our own ways). Some of the clips make me smack my head and think “I can’t believe I forgot about that!” Some of them make me howl in laughter because I remember the inside jokes.

Looking back, it’s a whole lot of fun and sometimes it is a “fun” that I miss.

I suppose anyone who looks back will always slightly yearn for the people they knew who came and left so quickly. When we look back, or at least when I look back, I can mostly remember the wonderful, hilarious, yet sometimes humiliating, fun-tastic times I’ve had with each person who has come and left their mark on me. I guess I’m forever imprinted upon. I have to say that I am so blessed to have some of these people still be part of my life.

Since I haven’t any videos of me from twelve years and younger, all of my home videos range between the ages of thirteen to the present day. I really do wish we had videos of when I was a youngster but nothing will make that wish come true lol. Fortunate for me, I have a strong recollection of those times and plan to write them in a journal forever to be in some form of print. I am happy to have videos of my teenage years though and I look forward to the day when they are all finally transferred onto DVD!

I know that I can never go back and nor would I want to. I’m truly happy where I am in my life. It’s a far step from where I was as a twelve a year old.

Sometimes though you just can’t help but wish to say to certain people that “no matter what the future holds or what’s to come, I love you and I’ll always remember you, and thank you.”

Much love,


PS I am proud to be a camera whore :P! Thanks mom and dad!

summer of 2004 with Nikki and Kayla

karaoke at Meaghan's










a favourite from grade 8 : Vitamin C’s Graduation

Tangled ♥

I recently had a fabulous photo-shoot in downtown Toronto at U of T with Chiyo (Icepresso) and Jhennelle Townsend. Chiyo brought the gorgeous clothes that I wore for it and styled it all herself. We met up a bit earlier before Jhennelle could join us and took a few shots without a lick of make-up on my face or anything done to my hair. I am actually so pleased with the results!

"Bare"... Photographer: Icepresso










About an hour after Chiyo and I had met up and walked to U of T, Jhennelle showed up at the “Chess Room” (the room in which Chiyo and I were shooting in). Jhennelle curled my hair, did my make up and than volumized my hair (finally learned the secret to making my hair full of curl and body!!) Once that was finished with we started shooting the beauty shots and oh my damn, I am so in love with how they came out!!

"Tangled" ... Photographer: Icepresso ... MUA & Hair: Jhennelle Townsend








Once we were done with the beauty shots Chiyo came out with my last outfit for the night. An adorable purple lace body suit, two puffy skirts (one black and the other purple), and a black belt. We went down to the chapel and found a nicely lit part of the room to shoot. The results are fantastic!

Chapel O' Love ... Photographer: Icepresso ... MUA & Hair: Jhennelle Townsend










Unfortunately, the Greyhound at this time of the night comes once every two hours so I had a 9:30pm bus to catch. The shoot could have gone on even longer. The rooms in U of T are absolutely gorgeous (I was truly awe inspired). After bidding Jhennelle “adieu”, Chiyo walked me to the Greyhound and we said our goodbyes. I went home feeling 100% satisfied knowing we got some amazing results.

Chapel O' Love ... Photographer: Icepresso ... MUA & Hair: Jhennelle Townsend













I loved working with both of these amazing women. Chiyo is quite the little model herself. She is so passionate toward getting the right shot and knows the poses/looks that she’s looking for, for each shot. She made me comfortable in my own skin and had me use my hands more-so than ever before. Jhennelle is quick and efficient with the job she does. She had my make up done in a snap and even though my hair has proven a number of times on how stubborn and difficult it is, she got it done … and beautifully too! I felt so lovely with my hair and make up!

Cheers to both of you ladies. I wish you both all the best and hope that our paths may cross again.

Much Love,


Who are you wearing? You look fabulous! ♥

Oscars is always the most glamorous time of the year.
The gowns the women wear make me drool and I turn
green with envy. I want to wear those amazing dresses,
jewelery and pumps. I also want someone to yell out to
me; “Who are you wearing? You look fabulous!” I’ve been
dreaming about it for years. It would be truly amazing
to walk down that red carpet one year … follow my dreams
and it will happen.

Anyways, I thought it would be fun to share some of my
favourite pieces worn at this year’s Academy Awards.

Mucho Love,


Reese Witherspoon (always stunning) ... I love this dress because of it's simplicity. It also really compliments the figure.

Amy Adams (one of my favourite ladies in Hollywood) is always classy and forever a beauty. I'm usually not a fan of these types of dresses but this one ... WOWZERS!

Halle Berry looks lovely in this dress. It's very whimsical and something I would want one of my fairy tale characters I make up to wear. It is jaw dropping.

Scarlett Johansson is always red hot. This dress was built for her. It is sexy, gorgeous and I love the colour.

Mila Kunis ... I love this girl and I love this dress. There is something extremely romantic in it's cut for me.

Cate Blanchette always looks stunning. I actually really love this dress (I know a lot of people didn't) but I thought it looked smashing on her!

Hailee Steinfeld looking like the perfect princess ... dressing her age and looking beautiful

Hilary Swank, one of the most amazing actresses, always looking like a gem and even more so in this fantastical gown. I want to wear it! It's a dream, a fantasy ...

Anne Hathaway, my favourite of all, looking like the beauty queen she is in this drool worthy dress. I want to own it. Everything about it makes me swoon. Also my favourite gown of the night.